I've Been Haxxored!

Someone has recently been trolling the tubes of teh intarwebs throughout the Spore fansite communities, some of these trollers/spammers posing as people from various forums, apparently intending to start inter-community brawls.

Normally, I wouldn't care, but what's this?

Ebilest Cyborg Teddy Evah!

Someone actually posed as ME? Complete with avatar and everything! Cerebral Stasis (don't look--there's some pretty embarrassing crap out there) has been my alias for years now, until I found that cyborg teddy bear character in an anime (*cough* for adults) and came up with the name Cybearg. It's so amazing; someone has masqueraded as me, causing oodles of hate to rain down on myself for something I didn't do. I feel like a presidential candidate with all this attention.

I think I'm going to have a wet dream. :3

Actually, what's funnier is that I may have actually said that kind of stuff, if I was drunk or something. Unfortunately for that theory, I don't drink, nor do drugs. Still amusing, though.

Guess I'd better register and apologize for the misuse of mah kopyritted naem, huh?

At least they'll know it's not me because I'd never, ever use a horrid, non-transparent .png to .jpg to .gif image like the spammer did.

The Notorious Face-Licker

Nom, face.

Apparently some poor git has been arrested for going on a drunken rampage and then licking an officer's face.

It's funny, I used to know a transvestite-in-the-works from New York that had a "game" in which he would randomly walk up to a stranger and lick them on the face to see how they reacted. -2 points if they took a swing, -1 point if they cursed and acted disgusted, +1 point if they smiled, +2 points if they started a conversation.

No, I'm really not kidding.

ATI Rage

Let me start off by saying that I have long been a fan of ATI. I have been custom-building my computers, and during that entire time, I have been using ATI video cards with Intel chipsets. Why? Well, mostly because it's what I've always used, and also because I've heard bad rumors about how some new games (of the time), in spite of being licensed by nVidia, didn't work so well with nVidia cards. As for the Intel, because its speed was what was listed, not all this "oh, well AMD Mhz are different from Intel Mhz" crap.

In any case, I liked ATI over nVidia because I thought that their chips had better bang for the buck. Whether or not that was the case isn't important. The problem I now have is with a certain tablet I purchased from my local college.

Up until now, I had been buying the parts I wanted off Newegg and assembling them myself. Along with being cheaper, there's something very satisfying about building your computer with your own hands. I suppose it's the same kind of joy a father gets when they look at their child and ponders about how they had been a wad of goo in his balls. However, my need of a tablet (something I couldn't assemble on my own) forced me to go with the Gateway tablets that the college was offering. So far, I've actually not too much trouble, except for its lovely habit of overheating for even the simplest games. I need both a laptop cooling unit AND a high-power desk fan blowing over it at all times.

My real problem is with my graphics display adapter.


Don't get me wrong, the Mobility Radeon HD 2300 works just fine, but in order for it to keep working, it needs updated drivers, right? Well, there's the problem. ATI doesn't have a driver for their own product! Seriously, look:



Now, according to Wikipedia, the Mobility Radeon HD 2300 came around in the second quarter of 2007, which makes sense as that is when the tablets for the university were ordered and assembled. That means that it's been a year. A single year, and ATI has forgotten about their own product. Sure, maybe it was reclassified. Maybe it was under one of the other options in the list, or maybe the drivers were available with the rest of the Radeon drivers. Nope. I tried. The ATI driver installer cheerfully informs me that no ATI products were detected.

Duh...


I'm really not sure who to blame. Although ATI has apparently been nefarious for driver trouble, but I've never hit a bad spot until now. I certainly never noticed a problem before ATI merged with AMD. Since then, the website has been very user unfriendly, and since I have a fair bit of experience with ATI but none with AMD, I'm apt to point my accusing finger at AMD for causing this trouble.

Why did this suddenly become a problem, you ask? Well, I recently got a copy of Mass Effect and have been anxious to try this BEST GAEM EVAH that I have heard about. Also, I hear there are sex scenes. With bare boobs. Didn't games used to get into trouble for this sort of thing? I remember how Indigo Prophesy had to cut nude scenes from the game in order for it to even be released in the USA. What happened? I'm not so certainly I actually like that, to be honest. I like my games and I like my porn, but I don't like them mixed, thank you. It's like taking bacon and ice cream and putting them together.

But I digress. Mass Effect informed me that there were updated versions of my display adapter drivers. Really? Well I sure as hell can't find them! In light of the AMD/ATI website's user-unfriendliness, I decided to email them to ask about the missing drivers.



But, uhoh, I have to register to do so, which requires me to "register my product." That means specifying what it is. Well, seeing as all I've got to specify what my (unlisted) product and what my (unlisted) problem is, this makes for a bit of an awkward situation. Frankly, it's fucking bullshit. Why the hell should I have to play their stupid little games to get support for MY product? It shouldn't require registration! At the most, just enter an email address to contact me when my question is answered and have one of those stupid word scrambles to prove I'm alive.

Additionally, their website brings up a pop-up box every so often if you have been idle, informing you that you have been idle and asking if you want to extend the session time. If you don't respond, it automatically logs you out. Why? It claims for security reasons, but how does someone else seeing how I'm having trouble finding lost drivers put me in a security risk? Again, it could avoid this whole problem by not having registrations in the first place! Just let me make the damn ticket, then let me know when you get back with the answer.

UPDATE: After first automated reply pointed me to a trouble-shooting FAQ area (really, are those ever any good?) and me insisting that I wasn't being properly helped, I got a reply saying that I should download the drivers from my tablet manufacturer's website.

So... ATI is passing the buck to Gateway for drivers pertaining to THEIR product?

I'm buying nVidia from now on.

Spore's Custom Content Heaven

In spite of how much I ripped into the Spore Creature Creator, I'm really looking forward to Spore itself, due out on September 7th. I recently found an article through Sporesite that suggests Spore will come with the option to export creatures, buildings, vehicles, etc. into Maya, one of the (if not the) biggest 3D modeling/animation/effects program for use in creating film-quality special effects. Pixar, Dreamworks, etc. all use it for their various movies.

Now, assuming that one can export their creature already textured, rigged (that is, keep the automatically-generated bone structure), and with some pre-made animations (like the various dance, emotion, and action algorithms), I can foresee some great fan-made web series coming out of this. The toughest parts of creating something in a 3D program is the rigging and animation (as well as rendering, but that mostly takes time and tweaking). Modeling and texturing are easy in comparison.

Maybe I'm overestimating the impact this could have, but, as a fan of the upcoming Spore game, I would like to publicize my support for this feature. Du it, yohaus.

A Letter to Blogger

Dear Blogger,

I have been using Blogger for my blogs for years now, and I continually like the flexibility that is put at my fingertips. However, there are one or two things that could be fixed, but never seem to be. When I write articles, I like to include links, videos, and pictures to break up the otherwise monotonous wall of text that a reader would see.

Adding a link is perfectly intuitive, and I'm pleased with how it's done, although I would like to see an option added for one to quickly and easily define the target of the link, without having to encode it themselves.

I've not actually tried the "add a video" button, as I usually just use embedded videos from other websites, but I do appreciate how well Blogger usually works with these.

My complaints truly come with your "add image" button. I like being able to upload my images directly to Blogger, as, if I upload them to imageshack or tinypic, I worry that they will be deleted by accident (or flagged wrongly) and there goes my image, but Blogger lets me upload multiple images at once, or easily and quickly create multiple images from image links.

However, my problems start when the image code is put in. First of all, it puts the image code at the TOP of the article, rather than at my cursor. Why? For some articles, I have to scroll quite a ways up and drag the image down, or at the least am highly inconvenienced as I have to play with the code to get it where I want. Second, Blogger automatically gives the image a link to itself with an "onBlur" function. I don't want this, and I have to delete it by hand each time, which is very, very annoying. Can't you create an advanced options pallet that will allow one to select the link they want their image to carry, if any, and whether or not to have the onBlur effect added? Furthermore, the margins and cursor: point style abilities are annoying, and are rarely what I want. Can't you make them options that can be saved for re-use time after time, like alignment options? I don't want the cursors turning into arrows or pointers when rolling over an image, and I don't like the margins that it automatically adds. Sure, I can simply modify the code of my images without a problem, but with an article that has 15+ images, this gets very tedious. Finally, give the ability to modify an image AFTER it has been embedded! Put in some kind of properties pallet that will allow one to completely change the image, link, alignment, etc. of an image without having to delve into the code for that sort of thing.

With that said, thank you very much for continually giving excellent service to so many people.

Sincerely,
Cybearg

Chaos Isn't A Joke Anymore

With The Dark Knight being the mega-blockbuster that it is, it shouldn't come as a surprise that everyone and their dog is writing a review for it.


I saw the movie on Saturday and, in light of how popular I knew it was, figured that I wouldn't comment on it, since anything that I had to say would surely have been stated before, and probably writter better, too. Then I remembered the old proverb of writing about a superfluous topic simply because it's of interest.

"It's my blog, and I'll write whatever the hell I want!"

With that tidbit of wisdom in mind, let's talk Batman.



Having grown up in the 90s, I can't say that I was particularly familiar with the comic book scene, nor (thankfully) with the campy classic Batman. That's one bit of 50s/60s culture that isn't my cup of tea, and if someone has a problem with that disregard of culture, have I got a cup for you.

My first introduction to Batman was the animated series, which I think helped to build my fondness of the film noir and 40s styles. Honestly, how could a kid not like a show like this? It's action-packed, full of atmosphere, and just downright cool. Ironically, I never actually saw the Tim Burton film that inspired the style until very recently, but that's okay. As much as I like Tim Burton (he was inspired by Jan Švankmajer, after all), I think I prefer the villains from the cartoon.

Incidentally, the villains in The Dark Knight are absolutely nothing like the villains in the animated series, the Tim Burton films, or (for the best, I'd say) the Joel Schumacher films. No, while many of those previous projects portrayed the characters as gleefully nuts, none of them hold a candle to the absolute, bone-chilling insanity that is the Joker in The Dark Knight, as played by the (unfortunately recently deceased) Heath Ledger. Now, I don't really keep tabs on celebrity pop culture or which actor is which (I've better things to do, like write in an obscure blog), I and anyone who's watched this film has got to wholeheartedly admit that Heath Ledger pulled the roll off with such convincing genius, it had the old lady standing next to me wringing her hands and gasping annoyingly all through the movie. A truly insane bringer of chaos is something so alien, so unusual, it's nearly impossible to make seem realistic. In fact, I thought it was impossible, until I saw this film.



The movie is anything but a triumphant hero film, and I really, really liked that. Now, I may not have gotten all the philosophical points of it that guys who make furry porn did, but much like when watching WALL-E, I felt that, rather than simply watching a film, I was seeing a glimpse of a real, living world. Unlike when I was watching Batman Begins (which, although a good movie, held no special place in my heart), I felt like I was observing some great work of art, something that was beyond improvement (almost). It's no WALL-E, but then two works of perfection in one year are unlikely.

However you flip it, the Dark Knight is a superbly dark psychological thriller that is about as poppy-filled and happy as an elephant graveyard. If you are prone to deep depression and digging the angst out of your wrist with a strait razor, I would recommend that you go see something more jovial. For everyone else, see this dark masterpiece. It's very unsatisfying.

Its only real fault is stealing the limelight from WALL-E, which I would have liked to see christened as the best film of the year. Looks like The Dark Knight will be taking that trophy, if its gross revenue is any indication.

Welcome To The Loser's Club

Cue Makemake, the newest Plutoid.


My illustrations suck.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Game

First of all, let me just say that I was very young when Star Wars: Episode 1 came out, so nostalgia has managed to overcome what would probably otherwise be hatred for the movie and characters (for instance, I had no problem with Jar Jar). With that said, the first 3D action game I ever played was the game by LucasArts, which was released slightly before the movie itself.

The game was praised for its high-quality sound effects and the use of music from the movie (and, in the case of the PC version that I had, I particularly liked that the title screen had some clips of the movie that would loop) and for its action sequences, but was faulted for many of these sequences being flawed. A review by Movies2GamesReviews points out a lot of the flaws, but in a particularly searing light. Personally, I didn't have a problem with the relatively simple style of the graphics, the lack of some music from the score (such as Duel of the Fates--I liked the Droid Invasion theme much more, anyway, and that's the song they kept reusing). Being 11 at the time, I didn't notice, or care. It's really funny to hear critics complaining about the difficulty of the game when I, as a prepubescent child, beat it over and over again.



What so many apparently overlooked was the various quirks of the game. For instance, as you can see in the above video, if you walk over the dung worms for awhile in the Tatooine city, everyone in the city will comment on how much you smell like crap. What was a completely unnecessary game aspect, but they added it just to make the game come alive. You've got to admire that. Another neat thing about the game is that it didn't hold your hand, for better or worse. Sometimes this meant some platforming puzzles that meant lots and lots of reloading (and on the old Pentium II, it meant a minute or two of an impatient kid waiting for the game to load), particularly in a later level where Obi-Wan has to jump between some kind of weird turbo-lift platforms in that oversized area where Qui-Gon and Darth Maul fight. It also meant that you could attack and kill an ally, and you would lose the game. The game didn't stop you from doing what you wanted, but it did have consequences.

Also, I should mention that destroying droids in the first level and slaughtering Mos Espa and everyone at the Boonta Eve Race is loads of fun.



True, the platforming is difficult, the fights can be hard, the light sabers don't automatically deflect bolts back to their source, some of the puzzles can be annoying, the levels where you have to guard another character piss me off, and some of it felt rushed, but I still like the game. I guess that's the burden of nostalgia.

Oh, and yes, the final boss is way too easy.

• Windows 95 or 98


• 200 MHz or faster CPU


• 32 MB RAM


• 4 MB PCI or AGP Direct 3D graphics accelerator


• 16-bit sound card


• DirectX 6.1

If you're interested in seeing what it was like, give the demo a try.

Meat & Potatoes

One day while daydreaming, I came up with the idea for a website where one can post and discuss creative interpretations of movies, music, art, games, etc. called Meat & Potatoes. A quick search on MyDomain revealed that meatandpotatoes.com and .net were already taken (what the phrase "meat and potatoes" has to do with sports is beyond me), hence my design of the logo saying .org.

Just an idea, but I think it could be a neat website.

Anyone interested? I mean, this could be the new Facebook! The idea is up for grabs for only a hundred bucks. Contact me now!