Virtual Lovin'

NOTE: This article contains satire and is not to be taken seriously.

Most have probably heard of Second Life, a (stupid) game where (crazy) people can meet (online) and waste hours talking about their goth hobbies. Now, I'm all for multiplayer roleplaying games, and, I must admit, they are a great hobby of mine, but this 3D chatroom stuff just churns up the cauldron of stupidity to the point where it overflows onto the rest of us.

Case in point, some are concerned over the ability for those in games such as Second Life to "cyber" (that is, play out sexual acts) without restrictions. Apparently, some woman has been emotionally traumatized after her Second Life character was raped. There have also been problems with two adults, one with a child character and one with an adult character, performing virtual intercourse; something that is banned in many countries under anti-pedophilia laws. The way I see it, if someone is bothered by what happens online, they can damn well go away. That's what makes the virtual world so great; you can do whatever you want, because people don't have to be offended. For those who don't understand this concept, I took the liberty of making a quick diagram.



Now, if someone is bothered by what someone tries to push on them, they can tell them no, contact an administrator for harassment, or simply "teleport" away or close the game window. Ditto with any other application. Although I personally don't agree with things such as pedophilia, if these two guys want to play it out virtually, where no one is actually being harmed (that is, no emotional damage is being inflicted upon some child), I see no reason why they can't get their rocks off the same as if it was someone who had a fetish for screwing a talking daisy. To arrest people who let their fantasies fly free in cyberspace is just stupid, because it's difficult and pointless (on the other hand, things like To Catch a Predator are a good way to stop those who are brave enough to break the law in real life).

Furthermore, some are complaining about so-called "muggers", who, in World of Warcraft, form a virtual bandit gang that, through one form or another, steals items from other players, only to turn around and sell them, for real money, to others. Now, this is a more touchy subject, but I would say that, as a whole, what is in the game is safe, as long as it doesn't bring chaos to the real world. In this case, they're just playing a game that happens to allow them to steal items from other characters. Those characters who were stolen from could either contact a GM (Game Manager) and complain that they were griefed (that is, set upon by a griefer, or one who tips the game unfairly to their advantage without a care of spoiling the game's fun for others), and thus get said items returned (or so I assume). Even if such were not possible, it seems to me that such items as were stolen could always be collected anew, and if there was financial benefit to be had, well, those who were stolen from are simply chumps for not having tried to do so first.

If it remains in-game, leave it there. It's just a friggin' game!

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On the Loch Ness Monster

As many are aware, one Gordon Holmes has captured new video (a news report with said footage is embedded below) that allegedly yields new proof that the Loch Ness Monster really exists.



As with many, I will take the stance that the Loch Ness Monster does not really exist. Now, although there has been so-called video and photographic evidence (many of which, such as the Surgeon's Photo, have been proven to be hoaxes), and there is a great possibility that large creatures could exist in deep water where they would remain undiscovered, I find the odds of a creature that has some reason to surface (or nearly surface) once every few years (as far as can be told, although of course nocturnal surfacings are a possibility) is highly unlikely. That, and there is relatively little evidence to support such, as opposed to such things as ghosts (ghost pictures/videos) and extraterrestrials (ufo pictures/videos) (which are, by many, not believed in, either [ghosts/ufos]).

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The Grimm of American McGee's Work

Those who were big on gaming around the time of Halo's release will surely recall American McGee's Alice, a dark re-interpretation of the world of Wonderland created by author Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (under the pen-name Lewis Carroll)in the books Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and its sequel, Through the Looking-Glass. This twisted tale of Alice's return to Wonderland after the death of her parents; a Wonderland changed into a place of evil, a concept most attributed to the works of Tim Burton, though I personally find the connection to the movie Alice by Jan Švankmajer, mentioned in a previous article, to be an interesting way to look at it (though their stories are nothing alike). If you have not tried the game, but would like to, it can be purchased here. Also, for those who would like to reminisce over old classics, part one and part two of the game's speedrun can be found here and here, respectively, and the trailer is embedded below. On another note, the movie adaptation of the game (hopefully done right, as, unfortunately, few are), starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as Alice, is, according to the International Movie Database, to be released in July of 2008.



American McGee is once again twisting fairy tales into dark worlds with the newly-announced game, Grimm (mention of such on American McGee's blog). According to this article, the game itself will be based on various stories from the collection Grimm's Fairy Tales by the Brothers Grimm. To learn more about the game, developed by Spicy Horse, read this article by GamesRadar and keep your eye on American McGee's blog for related articles. A release date has not been announced.

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Computing for Dummies (aka everyone)

Well, I'm sure that most everyone is oogling over the new Surface (go watch the videos on the official website) released by Microsoft. If you are not already aware, Surface is a top-secret project that has been developed over many years, and just now is being at last released to the public eye. As of now, it is a table with a 30-inch high-resolution display, 22 inches high, 21 inches "deep", and 42 inches wide, multi-touch interface, and more fancy features than you can shake a stick at, costing between $5,000 and $10,000. Below are a few embedded videos, showing off the primary features that Microsoft boasts of.

Virtual Painting


Virtual Photo Manipulation


Virtual Restaurant


Virtual Cashier (T-Mobile)


Now, although I'm tempted to go into a furious fit of excitement, seeing as this is so futuristic and all (at least by Minority Report standards), I must take a step back and look at the true potential of this technology. Now, a competing technology, embedded below, was unveiled in early 2006, showing off the abilities of the multi-touch interface. However, it didn't really show any useful application of the technology.



Now, as fun as fingerpainting and playing with virtual blobs may be, or pushing around digital photographs, I have a feeling that it is something that would quickly lose its shock value (though the movable video, on the other hand, may remain interesting a bit longer). I must say that I am quite impressed with Microsoft's creativity when it comes to application of their Surface technology. In this case, so that one may place a Zune, for example, upon the tabletop, purchase music with a jab of one's finger, and instantly transfer the music to their mobile device via Bluetooth. On the other hand, if the table requires infrared tags on the bottom of said devices, rather than recognition via more flexible means, that could spell some trouble, particularly for those who have older devices, or who have a preference for products sold by other companies who don't feel the need to add such tags to their devices (for example, Apple, Inc.). Specifically, of course, I speak of the iPod. If Microsoft doesn't have the wisdom to suck up their pride and offer expansive support (assuming that it is possible, since the technologies packed into players such as the iPod cannot be regulated by Microsoft, and so they can only expand as far as other products' hardware will allow), this will fail miserably. In any case, they should at least attempt to figure out some way to allow for as varied compatibility as possible with those devices that can support it, such as the iPhone.

As for the virtual restaurant, I'm not sure how well this will fly. Naturally, it will be an entertaining allure for fancy joints, but maintenance may be an issue, unless the Vista-based Surface is less crash-prone than its PC counterparts (and, of course, the tenancy for customers to not give a crap about expensive property). My guess is that this will, for quite some time, be seen only in large casinos and especially expensive, high-tech food joints (an example being some of the larger Starbucks coffeehouses). As for fast food places, I wouldn't expect to see this for quite some time (at least a decade, if not more, depending on how quickly the prices go down and how willing each company is to spend the extra cash for ease of use and eye-candy). Preferably, the technology should be expanded to detect the magnetic bars of credit cards, if such is feasible.

On the other hand, I think that T-Mobile's idea will really fly, as long as it is executed properly. Such on-the-fly comparisons, purchasing power, and ease of use would really impress customers at T-Mobile stores, particularly since they do, after all, specialize in electronics (portable electronics, in particular). If T-Mobile does it, odds are that competitors will scramble to catch up.

I don't think, however, that the PC will disappear before these new computers. Some of us enjoy the power that comes with a more detailed interface, and things such as detailed design, 3D gaming, even word processing, do not appear to be very compatible with this technology (since, unlike the technology showcased in 2006, the Surface does not seem to come with any kind of virtual keyboard). Virtual fingerpainting is fun, but since there is no obvious way to save one's work, detail given with programs such as Photoshop seems to be lacking, and the bump of an elbow could easily destroy hours of work, this most likely won't become popular with digital artists, let alone programmers, drafters, etc., from a more industrial point of view (not that I would expect one to be sitting in Starbucks, sipping a Frappuccino, and simultaneously drawing up virtual plans for a bridge on the Surface.

In conclusion, there are many options available for this new technology which have not been fully expanded upon, and, on the flip side, a lot of useless crap that will bog down and ultimately annoy users, but I would say that the potential outweighs the faults. Assuming Bill Gates isn't insane (a debatable point), this should be, as he predicts, a wonderful break-through in user-friendly interfacing technology.

Now, on to another new technology that has recently popped up; the Livescribe (about). Apparently, this technology packs some computing power into a fat pen, including the ability to record and play back voice, detect small printed dots on special paper (something that may make or break this pen, depending on printing costs/popularity), display some information on a "pixel-bar", and connect to a PC in order to expand upon what is done. For example, one may listen to a lecture while writing down notes. Should one want to review something that was said previously, one need only tap the pen upon a previously-written word, and the audio recording will back up to when that word was written and play from that point on.

The intent for the technology seems to be for journalists, writers, college students, and others who have a need for such flexibility, but I think that this less-than-$200-pen could also offer some useful aspects for designers, drafters, etc., if used correctly (meaning as long as the paper it requires is cheap enough, batteries last long enough, and whether or not the "hard copy" is able to be stored without creating too much clutter, though that last point really depends on who is using it). As for me, I know that I can type far faster than I can write notes, so I will stick with a keyboard for such things. This technology really hinges on whether or not it is marketed to the right people; it is for those with a true need of its uses, not the general public who busy themselves instead with cell phones, PDAs, iPods, and other such "new generation" equipment.

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UPDATE: The future of the Surface looks more promising than ever, particularly after Apple CEO Steve Jobs and Microsoft Executive Chairman Bill Gates got together in a friendly interview recently. By the sounds of it, they are not the enemies that one may guess, and so, it seems, the innovation of one will be snatched up by the other (hopefully meaning that, in the future, should the Surface really take off, Apple products should be made compatible, and the Surface should have the ability to recognize such non-Microsoft products).

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Pranks Galore

Ah, some of the best kinds of humor is a good prank. In this case, I'm posting videos from the excellent comedy website JibJab (one should really check out their original videos; fantastic stuff).

This first is a prank of a nun with male pornography.


And this one is a compendium of various pranks on Japanese folks.



There are also quite a few excellent prank videos on Youtube, one of the more outstanding being this Japanese prank video. I highly recommend you check them out, if this sort of thing tickles your funnybone.

These [Stickers] Come From Trees

NOTE: This article contains satire and is not to be taken seriously.

Glancing at the Blogger homepage, I could not help but notice this pile of dog crap. Apparently a featured blog, All I can do is roll my eyes and groan. This blog features a project that suggests, by putting stickers on various paper consummation devices, such as printers, one will save hundreds of pounds of paper. The stupidity of this, of course, is that sticker labels are, themselves, made from paper, as well as various types of organic plastics, rubbers, etc. that are taken from shrubs or trees (some without actually harming the plant, some with).


Really, if I care enough to conserve paper, I won't need a sticker on my printer to tell me.