Pb-Free Processors at Last!

NOTE: This article contains satire and is not to be taken seriously.


That's right, Intel has finally answered the world's problems by creating new, lead-free processors. Now, when you find yourself particularly hungry for chips after your local convenience store's closing time, you can simply munch on a Xeon, and still feel safe in know that, although the silicon will cut up your intestines like Jack the Ripper on a good day, you won't become (more) retarded from lead poisoning. Thanks, Intel, for being environmentally-friendly!

On a totally unrelated note, evil IBM has used some lead to make a chip twice as fast as anything else out there, without using more energy. Burn, IBM; your chips aren't edible.

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