I really hate commenting on random things I find on the internet, because it just leads to a bunch of, "hey, this obscure thing is neat, check it out!" or, "this obscure thing sucks, don't check it out!" It's not the job of an article, and more one of a random link generator, like my tidbits gadget to the left right, there. -->
However, today's (or rather late last night's) Nostalgia Critic is just... the worst. Not in what he does (he's awesome), but in what he reviews.
Updates will be coming fewer and further between as college starts up again for me, but I felt it necessary to offer an old project I completed last year for archival purposes. It is a flip-calendar depicting the travels of a girl through this somewhat surrealistic world. It's obviously not on par with the kind of detail I put into this blog's header, but that was before I started using the stylus, so I had to place every point in Illustrator by hand. I took a long time, but I'm still pleased with how it turned out. Again, thanks to Adam Phillips for his amazing work and the inspiration it gave me.
Download the Calendar's files (pdf format).
UPDATE: Ok, so my download keeps getting lost, so I'll just supply the files in png format, in proper order, below.
And, for reference, here is a large version of the current header (raw file from Illustrator, before modifying in Photoshop).
NOTE: This article contains satire and is not to be taken seriously.
I love pizza. The soft, crisp yet succulently soft crust, the zesty warmth of the tomato sauce, the sticky, dull flavor of the melted cheese, and the strong, biting flavor of pepperoni. And grease. Lots and lots of oozing, dripping yellow grease. Mmm-mmm.
My favorite place to add inches to my waistline would definitely have to be Pizza Hut. The hand-tossed pizza is just the right thickness, the toppings just plentiful and flavorful enough, and the bread sticks are, I swear, the best of any pizza place. If you go in at the right time, they have a buffet, consisting of a number of pizzas, though never quite of the quality of an ordered one, some bread sticks and cinnamon sticks (which taste like cinnamon rolls--delicious), as well as, of course, a salad bar. What more can one ask for? Even the logo looks great.
Of course, every white needs its black. Every yin needs its yang. Every man needs his woman. Cue Pizza Ranch, the oddly-named chain that is apparently somewhat unique to the Midwest, just as we don't have any White Castles around here. Allow me to explain just why the mere thought of this restaurant is enough to spoil my appetite with the same efficiency as imagining Hilary Clinton douses my erection.
First of all, let's address the logo. First, look at Pizza Hut's logo. It's got a neat, stylized look that shouts "new and casual." The red cap at the top is easily recognizable as representing the iconic Pizza Hut roof, and the choice to have the dot on the "i" be green brings a complimentary color to the red cap, while the yellow streak keeps the lower part of the logo from being bland. Overall, it's a tight, interesting logo that speaks well of the company that it represents.
Compare that to Pizza Ranch's logo. It's not as bad as it could be, but it still severely lacks the tight, uniform and colorful look that the Pizza Hut logo has. Comparing the logos, Pizza Ranch's logo is less interesting, and a lot less "fun." Personally, I think eating is fun, and most will probably agree with me. Thus, it is a good idea to make your restaurant seem fun. That font (as with the name) makes me think of old Westerns, one of the few movie genres that I absolutely refuse to watch in any way, shape, or form (Back to the Future Part III excluded). Also, what's with the covered wagon? When I think of covered wagons, I don't think of ranches; I think of the Oregon Trail. I guess they went that direction because some ranchers would camp out with covered wagons while herding cattle, and because a barn and windmill would be even more bland. I guess my point isn't that it's so much a bad logo (can you come up with any brilliant design for something called "Pizza Ranch"? I can't), but more that it's a stupid name for a restaurant.
Interestingly, White Castle was named such to make burgers, at the time of opening thought to be an extremely filthy food, seem clean and healthy. In contrast, Pizza Ranch isn't afraid to make its food sound bad. What part of "ranch" sounds appetizing, to anyone? Ranches make me think of dusty corrals, dirty animals, and lots of shit splattered around. It's not exactly the kind of thing I would readily want to associate with any food, not even food of Pizza Ranch's caliber.
Now, we get to the literal meat and potatoes of the issue: the food is horrible. Pizza Ranch, unlike Pizza Hut, not only offers a number of pizzas, bread sticks, and a salad bar, but also fried chicken, mashed potatoes, fish/chicken sticks, assorted other dishes, and soft-serve ice cream. Let us address these foods in order of appearance, shall we?
Pizza Ranch's pizza is some of the worst I've ever had. It has extremely thin crust (something I really hate on pizza), is sparse in toppings, and it's very, very greasy. It's like they made a pizza, then deep-fat fried the whole damn thing. Also, it seems to be lacking enough seasoning to really keep my palate interested, and I'm quickly wishing that I had something more flavorful, like a cow pie.
The bread sticks aren't too bad, honestly. They have enough cheese and seasoning to taste pretty good, and, aside from being really soggy, aren't half bad when dunked in some sauce. Really, it's the only food I can stomach in the place. At least they're better than Domino's pathetic excuse for bread sticks, which are really just lumps of dough that are brought up a little past room temperature so that they seem fresh and delicious to an onlooker.
Next is the salad bar. I usually don't care much for salad bars, because salads without good croûtons or some garlic salt are dreadfully bland. There's really little more to say about that, except that Pizza Ranch seems to be lacking much good stuff (like sweet fruits and different kinds of pudding), while having an overabundance of unappealing foods like cucumbers. Ugh, I hate cucumbers.
Now, the fried chicken. If I want fried chicken, I go to KFC and have a delicious extra crispy breaded chicken breast, or maybe a Bouquet box of chicken, but I never, ever want something like this. Their fried chicken sadly lacks any good breading or seasoning, and instead presents you with a scrawny and extremely greasy chunk of flesh. I remember that my mother would tend to disagree about Pizza Ranch, lauding the chicken. Even she would agree that the pizza was horrible, though. Pizza Ranch: best chicken in town.
There's only one way I like mashed potatoes: freshly sliced and hand-mashed. I hate instant mashed potatoes with a passion, and if that's not what Pizza Ranch's potatoes are, then they sure taste that way. Not even butter or their bland gravy can hide how unappealing the potatoes are. I wonder if any of the cooks in the back even taste the food that they make. Is this what they consider high quality?
The chicken and fish sticks are actually not too bad, but they're only good because of the breading on the outside. You can tell that they don't even make them there, but instead buy a number of frozen packages, thaw them, and then put them out to eat. I guess it works, but it certainly screams lazy on the part of the cooks.
Finally, the soft-serve ice cream. I quite like ice cream, though I'm a fan of the harder stuff out of a five quart bucket. Soft serve tends to be less flavorful, and I'm not nearly as fond of the texture. Even with that in mind, Pizza Ranch has some of the blandest ice cream I've ever tasted (well, I suppose Dairy Queen's cones are pretty bad, too). It's like eating a bowl of, well, iced cream. The problem is that there's no ice cream flavor to it, just the texture and cold.
I guess if I had to sum up Pizza Ranch's problems, it's that everything is so... mediocre. I guess nothing's downright horrifically, disgustingly bad, but it doesn't do anything more than it's supposed to. Sure, it has pizza, and it has mashed potatoes, and it has chicken, and it has ice cream, but it doesn't really put any effort or care into making any of them. For the price, I would much rather have some flavorful Chinese food. You know it's bad when your favorite thing about a restaurant is their website design.
So although I had intended to write an article today, I instead found myself fascinated by the idea of recreating the old website header. I have used Adobe Illustrator quite extensively in the past to create landscapes (my favorite things to create), but it was only today that I decided to use my college tablet's stylus to do it. Up until now, I had only used my mouse, modifying anchor points one by one until I got what I wanted. Boy, was I missing out. Using the stylus has given me a chance to put in detail I could only have dreamed of before.
Big thanks to Adam Phillips, as his art style was a huge inspiration in my work.
Normally, I wouldn't create a post for something like this, but I am so proud of the result, I feel I just have to. Yay me!
Incidentally, there may not be a new article on Monday, though hopefully I'll figure out a good way to start an extensive step-by-step review of Mass Effect.
I hate Quicktime. Honestly, it's the new RealPlayer. Sure, others have ranted extensively on what sucks this crappy program, but I feel I have a few new contributions to add.
First of all, I don't like secondary players. I use Media Player Classic, a very nice little stand-alone media player, for all my video needs, and Winamp for all my audio needs. Why? Well, a large part of it is familiarity. I will jump through hoops to get one familiar program to run everything I need, rather than go between a bunch of other programs, just because I like familiar program GUIs.
Second, I'm a very minimalistic guy. I like my desktop tidy (save for some temporary files which are regularly cleared), my menus small, and my experience unimpaired by huge buttons and other pointless crap. Quicktime is the mother of unnecessarily gigantic user interfaces.
Another complaint is that I like to view images in Firefox, my preferred browser. If I want to check out an image in full-size, Firefox does a very nice job of letting me do that. However, since installing Quicktime (due to the demands of some dumb website or another--use Flash!), Firefox will automatically assume that I want to either save or open the file in another program, which is completely unnecessary since I could just view it in Firefox! True it's only a few seconds' inconvenience, but it's a damn annoying one, regardless.
Conversely, Firefox doesn't prompt me to instantly download or open media links I click on, such as a link to a podcast mp3, but instead it is opened in my browser, under Quicktime, and automatically starts playing. Now, let me get one thing straight; I despise autoplay. Even if I'm viewing YouTube videos, on the video's main page, I despise autoplay. Why? Because I'm usually juggling tabs, multitasking, and I don't want to begin media until I'm ready to focus on it. Sure, load it for viewing, YouTube (and all other media players, for that matter), but don't play it until I say so!
Where was I? Oh, yeah. So having to then right-click and pick "save target as..." is just a little more inconvenient, but it's an unnecessary inconvenience, which is why it pisses me off so much.
Finally, why is Quicktime even necessary? There is a lovely Quicktime Alternative, but that unfortunately doesn't work for embedded videos, yet why are there still embedded Quicktime videos? MOV videos are way, unnecessarily huge, so why doesn't someone just use a divx or xvid-codec avi, or even a sucky wmv? For that matter, why not a Flash wrapper? Sure, MOV files may be good for editing, but not streaming! Stop that shit!
Someone actually posed as ME? Complete with avatar and everything! Cerebral Stasis (don't look--there's some pretty embarrassing crap out there) has been my alias for years now, until I found that cyborg teddy bear character in an anime (*cough* for adults) and came up with the name Cybearg. It's so amazing; someone has masqueraded as me, causing oodles of hate to rain down on myself for something I didn't do. I feel like a presidential candidate with all this attention.
I think I'm going to have a wet dream. :3
Actually, what's funnier is that I may have actually said that kind of stuff, if I was drunk or something. Unfortunately for that theory, I don't drink, nor do drugs. Still amusing, though.
Guess I'd better register and apologize for the misuse of mah kopyritted naem, huh?
At least they'll know it's not me because I'd never, ever use a horrid, non-transparent .png to .jpg to .gif image like the spammer did.
Apparently some poor git has been arrested for going on a drunken rampage and then licking an officer's face.
It's funny, I used to know a transvestite-in-the-works from New York that had a "game" in which he would randomly walk up to a stranger and lick them on the face to see how they reacted. -2 points if they took a swing, -1 point if they cursed and acted disgusted, +1 point if they smiled, +2 points if they started a conversation.
Let me start off by saying that I have long been a fan of ATI. I have been custom-building my computers, and during that entire time, I have been using ATI video cards with Intel chipsets. Why? Well, mostly because it's what I've always used, and also because I've heard bad rumors about how some new games (of the time), in spite of being licensed by nVidia, didn't work so well with nVidia cards. As for the Intel, because its speed was what was listed, not all this "oh, well AMD Mhz are different from Intel Mhz" crap.
In any case, I liked ATI over nVidia because I thought that their chips had better bang for the buck. Whether or not that was the case isn't important. The problem I now have is with a certain tablet I purchased from my local college.
Up until now, I had been buying the parts I wanted off Newegg and assembling them myself. Along with being cheaper, there's something very satisfying about building your computer with your own hands. I suppose it's the same kind of joy a father gets when they look at their child and ponders about how they had been a wad of goo in his balls. However, my need of a tablet (something I couldn't assemble on my own) forced me to go with the Gateway tablets that the college was offering. So far, I've actually not too much trouble, except for its lovely habit of overheating for even the simplest games. I need both a laptop cooling unit AND a high-power desk fan blowing over it at all times.
My real problem is with my graphics display adapter.
Don't get me wrong, the Mobility Radeon HD 2300 works just fine, but in order for it to keep working, it needs updated drivers, right? Well, there's the problem. ATI doesn't have a driver for their own product! Seriously, look:
Now, according to Wikipedia, the Mobility Radeon HD 2300 came around in the second quarter of 2007, which makes sense as that is when the tablets for the university were ordered and assembled. That means that it's been a year. A single year, and ATI has forgotten about their own product. Sure, maybe it was reclassified. Maybe it was under one of the other options in the list, or maybe the drivers were available with the rest of the Radeon drivers. Nope. I tried. The ATI driver installer cheerfully informs me that no ATI products were detected.
Duh...
I'm really not sure who to blame. Although ATI has apparently been nefarious for driver trouble, but I've never hit a bad spot until now. I certainly never noticed a problem before ATI merged with AMD. Since then, the website has been very user unfriendly, and since I have a fair bit of experience with ATI but none with AMD, I'm apt to point my accusing finger at AMD for causing this trouble.
Why did this suddenly become a problem, you ask? Well, I recently got a copy of Mass Effect and have been anxious to try this BEST GAEM EVAH that I have heard about. Also, I hear there are sex scenes. With bare boobs. Didn't games used to get into trouble for this sort of thing? I remember how Indigo Prophesy had to cut nude scenes from the game in order for it to even be released in the USA. What happened? I'm not so certainly I actually like that, to be honest. I like my games and I like my porn, but I don't like them mixed, thank you. It's like taking bacon and ice cream and putting them together.
But I digress. Mass Effect informed me that there were updated versions of my display adapter drivers. Really? Well I sure as hell can't find them! In light of the AMD/ATI website's user-unfriendliness, I decided to email them to ask about the missing drivers.
But, uhoh, I have to register to do so, which requires me to "register my product." That means specifying what it is. Well, seeing as all I've got to specify what my (unlisted) product and what my (unlisted) problem is, this makes for a bit of an awkward situation. Frankly, it's fucking bullshit. Why the hell should I have to play their stupid little games to get support for MY product? It shouldn't require registration! At the most, just enter an email address to contact me when my question is answered and have one of those stupid word scrambles to prove I'm alive.
Additionally, their website brings up a pop-up box every so often if you have been idle, informing you that you have been idle and asking if you want to extend the session time. If you don't respond, it automatically logs you out. Why? It claims for security reasons, but how does someone else seeing how I'm having trouble finding lost drivers put me in a security risk? Again, it could avoid this whole problem by not having registrations in the first place! Just let me make the damn ticket, then let me know when you get back with the answer.
UPDATE: After first automated reply pointed me to a trouble-shooting FAQ area (really, are those ever any good?) and me insisting that I wasn't being properly helped, I got a reply saying that I should download the drivers from my tablet manufacturer's website.
So... ATI is passing the buck to Gateway for drivers pertaining to THEIR product?
In spite of how much I ripped into the Spore Creature Creator, I'm really looking forward to Spore itself, due out on September 7th. I recently found an article through Sporesite that suggests Spore will come with the option to export creatures, buildings, vehicles, etc. into Maya, one of the (if not the) biggest 3D modeling/animation/effects program for use in creating film-quality special effects. Pixar, Dreamworks, etc. all use it for their various movies.
Now, assuming that one can export their creature already textured, rigged (that is, keep the automatically-generated bone structure), and with some pre-made animations (like the various dance, emotion, and action algorithms), I can foresee some great fan-made web series coming out of this. The toughest parts of creating something in a 3D program is the rigging and animation (as well as rendering, but that mostly takes time and tweaking). Modeling and texturing are easy in comparison.
Maybe I'm overestimating the impact this could have, but, as a fan of the upcoming Spore game, I would like to publicize my support for this feature. Du it, yohaus.
I have been using Blogger for my blogs for years now, and I continually like the flexibility that is put at my fingertips. However, there are one or two things that could be fixed, but never seem to be. When I write articles, I like to include links, videos, and pictures to break up the otherwise monotonous wall of text that a reader would see.
Adding a link is perfectly intuitive, and I'm pleased with how it's done, although I would like to see an option added for one to quickly and easily define the target of the link, without having to encode it themselves.
I've not actually tried the "add a video" button, as I usually just use embedded videos from other websites, but I do appreciate how well Blogger usually works with these.
My complaints truly come with your "add image" button. I like being able to upload my images directly to Blogger, as, if I upload them to imageshack or tinypic, I worry that they will be deleted by accident (or flagged wrongly) and there goes my image, but Blogger lets me upload multiple images at once, or easily and quickly create multiple images from image links.
However, my problems start when the image code is put in. First of all, it puts the image code at the TOP of the article, rather than at my cursor. Why? For some articles, I have to scroll quite a ways up and drag the image down, or at the least am highly inconvenienced as I have to play with the code to get it where I want. Second, Blogger automatically gives the image a link to itself with an "onBlur" function. I don't want this, and I have to delete it by hand each time, which is very, very annoying. Can't you create an advanced options pallet that will allow one to select the link they want their image to carry, if any, and whether or not to have the onBlur effect added? Furthermore, the margins and cursor: point style abilities are annoying, and are rarely what I want. Can't you make them options that can be saved for re-use time after time, like alignment options? I don't want the cursors turning into arrows or pointers when rolling over an image, and I don't like the margins that it automatically adds. Sure, I can simply modify the code of my images without a problem, but with an article that has 15+ images, this gets very tedious. Finally, give the ability to modify an image AFTER it has been embedded! Put in some kind of properties pallet that will allow one to completely change the image, link, alignment, etc. of an image without having to delve into the code for that sort of thing.
With that said, thank you very much for continually giving excellent service to so many people.
It was some years ago that I first came across the web series Red vs Blue. This was really my introduction into the world of machinima, and it was as gentle as being clubbed over the head with a lead pipe. This series was, for lack of a better phrase, FUCKIN' FANTASTIC! For those who are not aware, machinima is the practice of acting out a scene through a game and then superimposing sound, effects, etc. to make a film.
Titled the "Blood Gulch Chronicles", the first series of Red vs Blue takes place in a popular Halo map in which the players have two bases in a box canyon. Though the series started as mere comedy, it quickly grew to be an amazing masterpiece of storytelling, and the growing skill of the creators became more and more apparent. Basically, the videos were created by recording what a "camera character" saw while moving other characters around and later superimposing voices. Simple as it may sound, it takes a lot of effort and perseverance to keep a series like that going, and Red vs Blue made 100 full episodes in its first season, not including PSAs and specials.
I've just recently gone back to their website to see if anything is new, and indeed there is! A new season of Red vs Blue, titled Red vs Blue Reconstruction, has been made, and it absolutely blows my mind. Unlike the Blood Gulch Chronicles, this new series takes place in Halo 3, which means that it's only on the console. Yet, the guys at Rooster Teeth have somehow managed nearly cinematic-quality special effects.
Yeah, I'm gushing, but Jesus Christ, if you've not checked this stuff out, DO IT! Hell, buy the DVD Box Set if you have to in order to catch up--it's more than worth it. My only complaint is that Red vs Blue's creators have this prick notion that no one should be able to embed their videos. This is the Goddamn age of YouTube! Why the hell not? If someone embeds your videos, they're giving others a taste of what you've made, which only increases your own popularity! Quit that shit.
Another machinima series that I've really gotten into is Leet World, which is made using Counter Strike: Source. The series itself is presented like some kind of competition reality show between the terrorists and counter-terrorists, complete with hilarity and drama.
In Red vs Blue, nearly all the characters are either in SPARTAN suits or are awkwardly made to lip-sync (save in Reconstruction, where the lip-syncing is spot-on), so it never looks funny when you see someone talking (the characters just nod their heads to denote speech). In Leet World, however, a number of main characters' models weren't made with lip syncing in mind, so some of them with visible mouthes don't actually move them when talking (although the game show host, played by the G-man, is lip-synced quite superbly). It's interesting to compare and contrasts the different styles that Rooster Teeth Productions and Smooth Few Films use. I love it when everyday people don't let their inexperience hold them back from being creative.
With that said, I leave you with this amazing Half-Life 2 machinima music video of Breaking Benjamin's "So Cold" called "I'm Still Seeing Breen" by Paul Marino.
NOTE: This article contains satire and is not to be taken seriously.
One who has lived in the United States for some time knows that voting is seen as more than just a right--it's a damn obligation. Between the constant campaign advertisements, "go vote" posters, and other such reminders, a resident is almost led to forget that their vote is essentially minuscule and worthless, and that they are most likely choosing between the equivalents of ball torture and forced anal penetration. The country goes into this cranky PMS once every four years, wherein bloody stupid Americans go out to add to the collective juices pooling on the tampon that is the polls.
Keeping in mind my opinions about an individual vote being worthless, I had initially considered making a quick buck by selling it to the highest bidder, but it seems that someone else spoiled it for the rest of us. I really know and care nothing for what either candidate has to offer (not that either are likely to keep any promises, anyway), so in lieu of picking a candidate based on something as unimportant as age or race, I've decided to decide whom I will vote for based on something that truly tells what the candidate is about; their website.
Let's start by comparing them, shall we? Obama's homepage is, unsurprisingly, at BarackObama.com, while McCain's is, equally unshockingly, at JohnMcCain.com. Let's take a look between the two and see what there is to see.
No one says that you can tell a candidate by their website, but I'm going to pretend that they do and review each website in turn. After all, the websites are intended to give an impression about the men they represent, right? So they should be able to reflect their respective candidates like an open book (I think I messed up that idiom).
Where shall we start? Well, let's first compare the website designs as a whole, side by side.
Judging from the website design alone, Obama is new, shiny, crisp, and interesting, while McCain is old, overused, bland, and boring. While Obama's site uses bright colors, gentle curves, and clever design, McCain's is like any business site you'd see out there--dark and drab. Dare I say such blasphemy, but Obama's website has all the beauty and charm of a new Apple product, and I actually mean that in an approving way.
+ 1 to Obama
Let's move on to headers. For the sake of organization, I'll break it down into two parts: the logo and the rest.
I think that anyone with eyes has to admit that Obama's logo is certainly appealing. Not only is one likely to instantly associate the logo with the face, as they're so close together, but the logo itself is elegantly beautiful. The white in the center of the blue over gently curving lines suggests the sun rising in a clear sky over fertile hills, while the colors clearly are those of the United States flag, and, on top of all that, the white circle makes one see an "O." O for Obama. The logo brings images of prosperity to one's mind--prosperity and harmony. Genius design.
Let's compare that to McCain's logo. Well, we see that it's white and yellow on blue. Okay, nothing particularly appealing there. Oh, there's a single star. What, like the symbol of a brigadier general? Or is it supposed to be the symbol of a rear admiral (the rank that McCain just couldn't quite reach)? Whichever the case, McCain's logo reminds one of what his position would be as president, and shows that he is very proud of the military power he would wield, probably meaning he wouldn't be a particularly peaceful president. Maybe that's a good thing to other folks, but to me it's just a down-side.
+ 1 to Obama
Next is the remainder of the header.
Thanks to the slick design of Obama's website, the header is crisp and interesting, with a captivatingly detailed, yet not overpowering, background with an easy-to-read and noble-looking quote in the foreground. The quote itself suggests that, in spite of his age, Obama knows what he's doing and what he's fighting for, as well as being on the same level as the people around him. Then there's the conveniently-located sign-up form just to the right that grabs one's attention without breaking the flow of the design. Even the link to see a Spanish version of the website doesn't seem at all out of place.
McCain again fails hard due to the design. First of all, the header itself looks like some kind of advertisement, due to the bounding white box surrounding it. Then, McCain's looking distantly out to the right in his picture, as though he's distracted or something (as compared to Obama's logo, where he's glancing up and out in a thoughtful or surveying manner). Then, those words, "Reform*Prosperity*Peace" are used in such a way that it sounds like you're being brainwashed. Does anyone else think of 1984 or They Live when reading them? Further to the right are the links, "VOLUNTEER," "DONATE," and "EN ESPAÑOL." Now, while Obama's header form is for news and updates, McCain sounds like he's demanding things from his supporters, rather than inviting them to join in. It's like, "WORK FOR ME," and "GIVE ME MONEY!" I'd equate the overall effect like meeting someone's blind date and, after shaking hands, asking for a blowjob and a sandwich. A bit too forward, in my opinion. Wait until you get to first base, or at least until I get to the navigation bar!
+ 1 to Obama
Now, on to said nav bar.
There is little to say about the nav bars, since both are essentially the same (though Obama's, of course, is less boring thanks to good design), though I like how the sub-links show up right away when rolling over one of Obama's links, rather than scrolling out for McCain. The scrolling effect just seems like one of those cheesy Javascript gimmicks that an amateur web designer uses to make their otherwise boring website seem cooler, kinda like falling snow or page transitions. Also, McCain's choice to have "contribute" rather than "donate" makes it sound like he's demanding money. I have to ask, though, why is it that Obama's sub-links have "the" and "for" italicized? Unless I'm missing some kind of catchprase allusion here, it seems really out of place.
McCain has a little bit extra in his navigation menu, though, like his header, it seems out of place and reminds me too much of an advertisement. Really, it looks like one of those "Who will you vote for? Vote to win a prize!" things that look like you can select a radio button, but if you click you find out that it's just a solid image that links you to a scam-site. Yet another bad design choice.
+ 1 to Obama
Next is the first row of primary content. Obama's site seems to have two main chunks, while McCain has three chunks. We'll address each one in turn.
Since McCain is the oddball here with three chunks of content, let's get his first one out of the way right off the bat. I actually like this little sub-navigation menu, because it uses only Javascript and CSS (and none of that godawful Flash) to accomplish an impressive little eyecandy effect, while still looking pretty good and being functional (even if they look a bit like advertisements). One question, though: Pork Invaders? What the Hell is that, some kind of euphemism for ass-rape? Oh, no, wait, it's just a Space Invaders rip-off, I assume to appeal to the younger generation. Lame. Also, it kind of alienates the vegetarians/vegans, Muslims, and Jews, doesn't it?
The first big chunk of Obama's content is, I have to say, damn pretty. Using only Javascript, it performs a very pretty effect while still being easy to use, and the images that accompany the sections are downright beautiful. Also, there seems to be something for debunking common lies ("smears") about Obama. That's good--silence implies confirmation, and it's good to know that Obama is aware of the propaganda that is put out there to discredit him. I wonder what rebuttals McCain offers?
Again, McCain's page manages to make a critical design point look like an advertisement due to a lack of good blending. On the other hand, having a video right there (as opposed to Obama's page, where you click the "play" link on the "video" only to find that it was just a picture of a video that then redirects you to the actual video), which is very convenient. Yes, the video is Flash, but I forgive that, because Flash is great for embedded content, be it audio and video. Other than that, though, I hate, HATE to see Flash used on a website for the sake of unnecessary animations (particularly in navigation bars, since I like to use Firefox's tab function by middle-clicking on links that interest me to open them in new tabs while leaving the page I'm on loaded for later, when I return--Flash doesn't allow for middle-clicks on links). However, I notice that there's no link to debunk what his opponents say about him. I guess that means that he either doesn't respect them enough to give a rebuttal, or he's confirming their suspicions. Either way, it's not such a good move on his part. Also, he has a link called the "Lexington Project", which is apparently what his party calls their energy plan.
Maybe I'm just a loony, but "Lexington Project" makes me think "Manhattan Project", which makes me think big explosions and lots of dead Japanese people. Hopefully McCain's Lexington Project is a bit less lethal, for the sake of all the disillusioned anime fans that have infested the country. Also, why call it a "project?" When something is called the Insertnamehere Project, it sounds really secretive, like a government cover-up story for some kind of new weapon or big mistake. Not exactly the kind of images I'd want my new president's policies to bring to mind.
+ 1 for Obama
The second part of Obama's website is certainly the most boring part of the entire design, though it manages to bore in a pretty way, like watching a Miss Teen USA with nice tits demonstrate her stupidity. I'm not saying that it's an unnecessary component, or that it has no flare (I do like the style of the link icons), but I get the feeling that it could have been done better. The "volunteer" link is very well-done, though. The simple graphic, combined with the word, implies that one will stand out from the bland crowd if they offer their support to the party.
McCain's website certainly isn't boring in the final space. In fact, it's way too cluttered. While it's meant to function much like the form in Obama's header does, the odd color choice (I don't see that particular shade of blue anywhere else on the website) and messy clutter of links makes it look like some kind of Myspace widget, and that's not a good thing. Again we see McCain using the word "contribute," which, although perhaps a pointless observation, makes him sound a lot more greedy than Obama, who only asks for "donations." A "contribution" sounds something a Smurf does to maintain the status quo, not something an individual offers out of the goodness of his or her heart.
Then, there's a little bit of text above the form that says, "Join the Team." What team? Is this some kind of snooty elitist organization, or are we all going to play ball and drink beer? I can see how it's trying to make the reader feel like a part of the party, but I think that it tragically misses the runway and crashes headlong into a schoolbus full of children.
Below the form are a number of links, the first of which being "Recruit 5 Friends." Recruit? What is this, some kind of suicide bombers club? Also, why five? Maybe I only have four friends. Then below "Register to Vote" is "Signup Family / Friends." What does that mean, exactly? Does McCain support forcing your political beliefs upon your family and friends, rather than letting them make their own educated opinions based on the evidence at hand or is this just a means of signing them up to be flooded by brainwashing spam? Next is "Spread the Word," which I've got no complaints about, save that such a link should probably be bigger and easier to locate, since maximizing support would logically be the primary goal of a candidate.
Then, there's "McCainSpace." Are you fucking kidding me? That is, without a doubt, the lamest attempt at catering to the youth I have ever seen. Why don't you just have your website say, "Help us pwn the Democrats," McCain? This kind of thing doesn't make you look hip and and clever, it makes you look old and boring. And fucking stupid.
At last, there's a link called "Cause Greater Than Self." Huh? Because what's greater than self? Oh, I see; it means "participate in a cause that is greater than you are." Gee, what a way to woo potential voters: remind them of how small and insignificant they are in your grand plan. Great thinking there, McCain. It really gives me the warm fuzzies about how much you care for the little guy.
+2 to Obama, just because of that McCainSpace thing. It's not so clever now, is it?
Further down on the prettier of the two sites we see "ObamaBlog." Not that I'd dare question a presidential candidate's grammatical competence, but shouldn't it be "Obama's Blog?" ObamaBlog just sounds like the name of some kind of open source software or something. I guess it's supposed to fit with "BarackTV," title-wise, but I think that "ObamaTV" (at least he wasn't pretentious enough to try something like BarackTube) and "BarackBlog" would have sounded better. Anyway, I have no complaints about the blog itself; the design is clean, the text easy to read, and the navigation easy to use.
Since McCain's website doesn't have any kind of blog, we'll skip right to the news block on Obama's website, though I would like to pause for a moment to say that I really like the design of the additional link blocks to the right of the blog and news. In addition to the aforementioned BarackTV, there's a welcome message for Hillary supporters (good thinking, trying to welcome them--they'll be a necessary part of the voter base), a Know the Facts block (of which I applaud the excellent typography choices), and, finally, a block for my.barackobama.com, which I guess is a kind of social network spin-off. While I detested how McCain's website did it, I think that Barack's site pulled it off quite well. Not only do I really, really like how it first depicts the address with Obama's party logo, but the text to describe the service is actually enticing, and this is from a guy who hates Myspace's guts and thinks that Facebook is the most annoying thing since the rickroll.
Anyway, on to the news. There's really not much to say in this regard for Obama's website, since it's the exact same design as the blog block (and there is nothing wrong with that, mind you). So, without further adieu, let's move on.
McCain's fugly website combines news, his weekly radio address, pictures, and upcoming events all into one block, like clothes stuffed into a suitcase to make everything fit. First, unlike Obama's website, McCain's doesn't actually show any news, it just has a number of archived links to news articles. Not that there's anything wrong with that, except that it's boring and inconvenient. Then, there's the weekly radio address, which has a short description and a small flash applet to play the radio address. I like this, rather than having a direct file linked to for download (although having the direct link as well would be convenient for those who don't like to listen to long discussions off their browser). Next are the "Photos of the Week." What? Why, exactly? Is McCain trying to prove that he knows how to be a celebrity by pretending to care enough about random onlookers to have pictures taken with them? Note that these pictures are almost at the absolute bottom of the front page of his website, so it's not like a whole lot of people are going to see them, and, again, what's the point? I guess he figured, "Oh, I'll bet that there are all kinds of people out there who love me so much that they need spank material to construct a shrine. I'd better help them out!" Seriously, why do I want to see a bunch of pictures of your family, yourself, and random onlookers? How does this entice me to vote for you?
+ 1 for Obama
Next on Obama's website is a block called ObamaEvents which apparently helps one locate nearby upcoming events, which is quite helpful, and looks great while being helpful. Then, there's ObamaMap, which I don't quite see the point of. If it's not to display upcoming events (the above search supposedly does that), then why is it there? Is it to tally those who have visited the site? Seems a bit pointless, though I really have no complaints. Again, it fits the design and doesn't look out of place, so a lack of practical functionality isn't so much of an issue.
Then there's ObamaStore, where you, too, can purchase quality merchandise, such as Obama '08 buttons, Obama '08 shirts, and Obama '08 rally signs. Well, it's no Cafepress, but what other kinds of merchandise would you really expect a presidential candidate's website to offer? Aside from the classic, "Our Party's Penis is Bigger Than Your Party's Penis" mug, of course.
Up a ways and to the right is ObamaMobile. Honestly, is Obama going to prefix everything he does? "I've got a new ObamaPlan to cut back on ObamaTaxes using Obamacuts to the Obamaconomy." Anyway, I'm sure that people who have cell phones and like to pay extra for stupid things like sending messages on a tiny keypad would be happy to know that they can text "Hope" to 62262 (note that if you keep the sixes and add up the twos, you get 666) for some stupid reason that I don't understand. Does texting this let Obama know that you're a supporter? I'm sure that will really help him sleep at night. If not for your text message, he may have lost his beauty sleep over whether or not you, one person out of over three hundred million, really cared.
At last, there's ObamaEverywhere, and I mean everywhere. Pretty much every popular social networking/web 2.0 site I was aware of is listed here, and good for him. A large part of his popularity is riding on how he's reached out to the online communities. Hopefully his effort will pay off, showing that the Internet contains more than mindless Myspace brainfarts.
Aside from those little links at the bottom of the webpage that no one really cares about, there's little more to say about Obama's website. Now, McCain's has one more block that I wanted to discuss. It's something called "McCain&You: Your State and Coalitions." McCain&You? It sounds like Barny & Friends, or something gay like that. Why is McCain suddenly interested in "you", when, just before, he said that his grand plan was more important than you were ("Cause Greater Than Self")? Probably because there's a donate link just under this block. Below the McCain&You title are a number of drop-down boxes that allow one to select various options to get information about his views on things, or something like that. You know, one of the big problems with this website is that it uses boring Web 1.0 components like radio buttons, drop-down boxes, and text boxes that have no modified color or font. I'm almost surprised that the title bar of McCain's website doesn't say "Untitled Document."
+ 1 for Obama
There's one last thing about these websites that I would like to compare: their bookmark icons. A good website has a memorable bookmark icon, which is a small graphic that shows up next to the website when it's bookmarked, or next to its address bar or tab (depending on your browser). Note that, while McCain has a white box and colorless star (exciting, huh?), Obama not only has one with transparent edges (I love transparency), but is also a very colorful and recognizable rendition of his campaign logo.
+ 1 for Obama
Which brings the final score to:
Obama: 9, McCain: 0
As of this moment, I will be featuring a link to Obama's website on my blog.
You may have noticed that I got more and more affectionate towards Obama (or rather, his website) as I went along, and more and more rough with McCain (read: McCain's website). It's not bias, but rather that, the more I saw of McCain's website, the more I associated him with being annoying, boring, lame, and old, just as I associated Barack with being interesting, clever, and fresh. Maybe, by picking the prettier of the two websites, I'm being just as ignorant as if I'd picked them based on who had the prettier face, but in the end, a politician is going to lie, so you may as well have one that can give you a boner while it's happening.
So the other day I was going through Drow Tales (a [fantastic] comic I've mentioned in a previous post), trying to catch up, and I came across a certain flash video made by the artists to celebrate the new year. I was stunned.
Why? Well, because it reminded me so much of the kinds of opening cutscenes that played a huge part in making the Thief series freakin' fantastic!
As a frequent reader would know from a previous post, there are a few themes that really snatch my fascination. Let me lay them out here, along with how I got them:
5. Steampunk - Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura, Thief, Bioshock
Now, on to Thief itself.
One of the most fantastic aspects of the series (the first and second in particular, especially Thief 2: The Metal Age, as that was the first I played) was the immersive atmosphere. Its gothic themes (in particular the mix of magic and technology) really brought the game to life for me. Each level (of Thief 1 and 2) would be preceded with a cutscene where Garrett, the protagonist that one plays as, would discuss what needed to be done. The music, the style of the intro art, it all works together to help one feel that they are a true part of this world (and when the graphics look like this, you need great gameplay, a fascinating story, and deep immersion to keep the player intersted).
The series was developed by Looking Glass Studios (rest in peace) for Thief: The Dark Project/Gold and Thief 2: The Metal Age (the creators of the System Shock series) and Ion Storm (rest in peace) for Thief: Deadly Shadows (also the creators of the Deus Ex series). It was the first "first person sneaker" game ever, making use of a heavily-modified version of the firstUnreal engine (from the originalUnreal Tournament) to create shadows one could "hide" in, as well as the unprecedented "AI hearing" capability (depending on what surface you walked on and how quickly you walked, your footsteps would make a certain amount of noise which could alert nearby AI to your presence). Now, I've Splinter Cell series and tried sneaking part of the Elder Scrolls series, and let me tell you, none of them hold a candle to these classics.
Of the Thief series, Thief 2: The Metal Age was, hands down, my favorite. Thief: The Dark Project/Gold, while loads of fun, were a lot more about being spooked (which is cool) and fighting hordes of monsters, and Thief: Deadly Shadows was much more about the action, choices, etc. In contrast, not only did Thief 2 have the steampunk theme that the others lacked, but it also pitted the player against mostly human enemies, which meant real sneaking. There is very little more satisfying than successfully sneaking through a Thief 2 level, stealing loot, without any of the AI noticing.
By the way, that's another thing that added a lot to the immersion; the AI dialog.
Is there some Monty Python reference in here? I've never seen the movie, so I can't say. Regardless, it's these kind of conversations and situations that one "stumbles upon" that really makes it come to life. That and, of course, the dark, gothic atmosphere.
As seen in the above video, enemies can sometimes really surprise you, and while the shadows and directional audio can help you in your sneaking, it can also obscure enemies and make you unsure of exactly where those loud moans are coming from.
I'm not alone in my love of the Thief series. In fact, even ten years after the series began, there is still a thriving fan community for this game, mostly making fan missions.
Speaking of fan missions, some fans got together and created an unofficial expansion pack for Thief 2: The Metal Age called Thief 2X: Shadows of the Metal Age, which is, in my option, the absolute best fan-made work ever. It is a great example of professional quality in amateurs, and, honestly, almost as good as Thief 2 itself. Even the Thief2X website looks great; I love that gothic design. The expansion pack is free to download, though it requires an installation of Thief 2 in order to work.
Thief: The Dark Project
Windows 95
166 MHz CPU
32 MB RAM
4 MB PCI or AGP Direct 3D graphics accelerator
42 MB available HDD space
DirectX 6.0
Thief 2: The Metal Age
Windows 95
266 MHz CPU
48 MB RAM
8 Mb PCI or AGP Direct 3D graphics accelerator
250 MB available HDD space
DirectX 7.0
Thief: Deadly Shadows
Windows XP
1.5 GHz CPU
256 MB RAM
64 Mb Video Card with Pixel Shader 2.0
3 Gb available HDD space
DirectX 9.0b
In summary, if you haven't played these fantastic games, buy them (or even download them) and do so. If the games themselves aren't enough, then the (literally) hundreds of fan-made missions should be. At the least, try one of the demos.
Of course, every white needs its black. Every yin needs its yang. Every man needs his woman. Cue 
I hate 
In 
I think that anyone with eyes has to admit that Obama's logo is certainly appealing. Not only is one likely to instantly associate the logo with the face, as they're so close together, but the logo itself is elegantly beautiful. The white in the center of the blue over gently curving lines suggests the sun rising in a clear sky over fertile hills, while the colors clearly are those of the United States flag, and, on top of all that, the white circle makes one see an "O." O for Obama. The logo brings images of prosperity to one's mind--prosperity and harmony. Genius design.
Let's compare that to McCain's logo. Well, we see that it's white and yellow on blue. Okay, nothing particularly appealing there. Oh, there's a single star. What, like the symbol of a 
Next is the first row of primary content. Obama's site seems to have two main chunks, while McCain has three chunks. We'll address each one in turn.
The second part of Obama's website is certainly the most boring part of the entire design, though it manages to bore in a pretty way, like watching a Miss Teen USA with nice tits demonstrate her stupidity. I'm not saying that it's an unnecessary component, or that it has no flare (I do like the style of the link icons), but I get the feeling that it could have been done better. The "volunteer" link is very well-done, though. The simple graphic, combined with the word, implies that one will stand out from the bland crowd if they offer their support to the party.
McCain's website certainly isn't boring in the final space. In fact, it's way too cluttered. While it's meant to function much like the form in Obama's header does, the odd color choice (I don't see that particular shade of blue anywhere 
Further down on the prettier of the two sites we see "ObamaBlog." Not that I'd dare question a presidential candidate's grammatical competence, but shouldn't it be "Obama's Blog?" ObamaBlog just sounds like the name of some kind of open source software or something. I guess it's supposed to fit with "BarackTV," title-wise, but I think that "ObamaTV" (at least he wasn't pretentious enough to try something like BarackTube) and "BarackBlog" would have sounded better. Anyway, I have no complaints about the blog itself; the design is clean, the text easy to read, and the navigation easy to use.
typography choices), and, finally, a block for my.barackobama.com, which I guess is a kind of social network spin-off. While I detested how McCain's website did it, I think that Barack's site pulled it off quite well. Not only do I really, really like how it first depicts the address with Obama's party logo, but the text to describe the service is actually enticing, and this is from a guy who hates Myspace's guts and thinks that 
Up a ways and to the right is ObamaMobile. Honestly, is Obama going to prefix everything he does? "I've got a new ObamaPlan to cut back on ObamaTaxes using Obamacuts to the Obamaconomy." Anyway, I'm sure that people who have cell phones and like to pay extra for stupid things like sending messages on a tiny keypad would be happy to know that they can text "Hope" to 62262 (note that if you keep the sixes and add up the twos, you get 666) for some stupid reason that I don't understand. Does texting this let Obama know that you're a supporter? I'm sure that will really help him sleep at night. If not for your text message, he may have lost his beauty sleep over whether or not you, one person out of over three hundred million, really cared.
At last, there's ObamaEverywhere, and I mean 
Aside from those little links at the bottom of the webpage that no one really cares about, there's little more to say about Obama's website. Now, McCain's has one more block that I wanted to discuss. It's something called "McCain&You: Your State and Coalitions." McCain&You? It sounds like Barny & Friends, or something gay like that. Why is McCain suddenly interested in "you", when, just before, he said that his grand plan was more important than you were ("Cause Greater Than Self")? Probably because there's a donate link just under this block. Below the McCain&You title are a number of drop-down boxes that allow one to select various options to get information about his views on things, or something like that. You know, one of the big problems with this website is that it uses boring Web 1.0 components like radio buttons, drop-down boxes, and text boxes that have no modified color or font. I'm almost surprised that the title bar of McCain's website doesn't say "Untitled Document."
The series was developed by 
Of the Thief series, 
